I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
