If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Drunk is not a location!
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
