i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
