Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
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