I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
