Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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