Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
