...so i touched it.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
