If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
