Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
