it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
