im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize