she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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