I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
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