dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
