is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
When are your genitals available?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize