How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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