Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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