last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
