She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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