Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
