Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
