What did we do last night that was yellow?
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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