we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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