She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Randomize
