I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
soo... how was my night?
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