He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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