My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
well you can't waste a boner
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Randomize