You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
