My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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