I'm really into asian looking animals
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
All I want is dick and wine.
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