His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize