i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
