remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
