I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
im holly from the hills drunk
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Randomize