i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Randomize
