thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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