and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
