Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
where are you?
Hypothermia
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I can't turn off my feet"
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
