My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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