Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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