He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
