I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
