Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
