home. puking in laundry basket.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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