he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
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