My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize