at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
The beer is more important than you right now.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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