He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
