It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
