operation have a gay friend backfired
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
