We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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