Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I am naked and annoyed.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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