You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
He's a Shit stain on my heart
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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