It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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