the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
