She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
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