I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
The power of my boobs compel you
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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