when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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