i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
