just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
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