i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
i need some magic done to my vagina
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