what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
