Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
