fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
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