Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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