I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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